Inanimate Objects’ Lives Matter

Inanimate Objects’ Lives Matter 1

As Jews, we understand the importance of showing gratitude to the many people who assist us each day. Even in the secular world, this idea has trickled in, manifesting in the form of mother’s day, father’s day, veteran’s day, etc. However, there is one object that as of today has gone unthanked. It is within grasp sometimes as much as six days a week, yet we do not recognize its true selflessness and cooperation.

 It should not come as any surprise that I am referring to our keyboards and computer mice. They are truly with us through thick and thin. I will begin with heaping praises on our steadfast computer mice. 

Not only are they poked and shoved to and fro with little regard for their comfort or self-respect, they also have to live with the continuance burden of an erroneous name. The number of artists whose claim to fame was established by ridiculing the computer mice, adding ears, eyes, and tails to their anatomy is an appalling phenomenon. My question is, who came up with the all-encompassing name of ‘mouse’? Is this the same idea of Pharoh, that any oldest male born to the Egyptian monarchy had to share the same name as his predecessors? I would suggest having a long talk with your computer mouse to discuss their preference of name. If they suggest something impossible to pronounce, then all the better. Its retribution will be requited, at last, all the more so if it makes you suffer the way that you made it suffer ever since you bought it. (Now good luck falling asleep tonight). 

If you think the name is the least of its worries, try to imagine how you’d feel if someone kept yanking your wire, with absolutely no regard for your feelings. Sound familiar? Again, another example of the agitations placed upon so innocent a device. 

However, do not think that it is only the computer mice that suffer. The keyboard, too, goes through inner afflictions of its own. Firstly, it has to hear a constant clicking in its proverbial and hypothetical ear. You know how you want to smack that person who keeps clicking their pen over and over? To a keyboard, you are that person. To quote Greta Thunberg, “How dare you!”

And have you ever had those moments when you just want to bash your fists against the keyboard as a way of unleashing your frustration? We know you have. You may think that it is a harmless method of releasing anger and anxiety, but it is not. Your keyboard cringes every time your balled fists approach at alarming speeds, wincing in anticipation, wondering if it will ever feel as idyllic and fresh as it did the day you bought it. (Remember that day? You wore gloves and refused to let anyone else go within a ten-foot radius).

Now, the point of this article is not to shame you for your abusive behaviors. (Well, maybe a little bit…) The intention is to give you the awareness necessary when dealing with inanimate objects. You may think it doesn’t matter, but a computer keyboard and mouse always remember. Remember, inanimate object’s lives matter!



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