Rebuilding Series: Not Again, Gilligan. By Marshall Lestz
Good Morning Everybody,
When I was a kid I used to watch Gilligan’s Island. And just in case you’re not familiar with the show–7 castaways are stuck on an island and in each episode they come very close to getting off, but one mistake-prone goofball character, Gilligan, always accidentally messes things up.
I remember watching and hoping that “THIS” would be the episode they’d finally get off. I was old enough to realize that this wasn’t gonna happen, but I still kept hoping something would change. Day after day, I would get frustrated that Gilligan would ALWAYS botch things up. “GILLIGAN!!!”
We all have Gilligans in our life. People who, for whatever reason, consistently make things more difficult for us. And whenever we’re around them we feel frustrated, stressed, angry, disappointed, you name it. The trap we often fall into is that we interact with them like I used to watch Gilligan’s Island— we either hope that somehow this time things will be different… or we just sit there and wait for the inevitable– counting down the seconds until that guy “pulls a Gilligan” and makes that unpleasant comment or does that irritating thing again.
But if we want to “get off the island” we need to stop blaming that other person for our misery. Hoping this guy will magically change, or just waiting for him to bother us again strips us of any power to make a difference. Aren’t we tired of being stuck watching the same reruns? Yes! So let’s change the script and use this as a Rebuilding opportunity… To either work on upgrading one or more of our character traits, or to work on setting boundaries, or to increase our awareness and trust in Hashem, or to practice reframing…. The key point is that we modify our current unproductive pattern. We may not be able to influence the other person to change, but we can certainly change how we’ve been responding.
I’d like to end with the powerful words of Dr. Dovid Lieberman who says: We are responsible for our satisfaction in life, whether we choose to accept this or not. If we don’t accept responsibility for our lives, then nothing will move us; if we do (accept responsibility), then nothing can stop us.
May Hashem inspire us to make the most of our challenging relationships, and ignite within us the motivation to move FORWARD with passion, purpose and a positive state of mind.
Have a take-charge-of-your-life kind of day everybody,
Keep on Building!